Broken Brains with Bruce Parkman

Colin Lightfoot on Blast Exposure, TBI, and the Hidden Brain Injuries Veterans Face | Broken Brains Podcast | EP 85

• Bruce Parkman • Season 2 • Episode 85

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  What really happens to the brain after years of blast exposure in combat?

In this episode of Broken Brains, host Bruce Parkman speaks with military veteran Colin Lightfoot about the hidden impact of blast exposure, traumatic brain injury (TBI), and combat trauma on brain health. Colin shares his personal journey from military service to recovery, discussing how brain injuries often go unrecognized and untreated among veterans. This conversation explores the importance of recognizing TBI symptoms, improving military mental health resources, and finding effective treatment and recovery pathways for veterans suffering from the long-term effects of combat.

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Veteran Brain Trauma
 01:28 Ben Askins Military and Medical Background
 06:17 Mental Health Challenges in Veterans
 09:00 Caregiver Fatigue and Trauma
 17:32 Psychedelic Therapy and Brain Healing
 18:49 Ketamine Therapy Explained
 29:13 Trauma Recovery and Emotional Processing
 30:57 Finding Meaning After Trauma
 32:22 Neuroplasticity and Brain Recovery
 35:02 Brain Healing Science Explained
 40:01 Psychedelic-Assisted Therapy for Veterans
 49:17 Accessing Treatment Options
 56:13 The Future of Veteran Brain Health

 

 

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Produced by Security Halt Media

Mission And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_00

Hey folks, welcome to another episode of Broken Brains with your host Bruce Parkman, sponsored by the Mac Parkman Foundation, where we look at the issue of repetitive brain trauma from two aspects: repetitive head impacts from contact sports and repetitive blast exposure from military service and what these conditions are doing to the brain health and mental health of our athletes, veterans, and children. And why is this so important? This is not trained in our medical, nursing, or psychological or psychiatric professions. Nobody's aware of these uh of the connections between repetitive brain trauma and mental illness. So we go out there and we find everybody we can and bring you this podcast in order for you to be informed and make informed decisions. On our show this day today, another great guest and military service member, Master Sergeant Colin James Lightfoot, was born September 9th, 1985 in Lakin Heath, England, and enlisted in the U.S. Army in 2005. He graduated the Special Forces Qualification Course in 2009 as an engineer sergeant and served with the 10th Special Forces Group Airborne in multiple operational and leadership roles, culminating as a team sergeant of ODA 0325 from 2021 to 2024. Over his career, he deployed eight times to support combat and contingency operations, including Iraq and Afghanistan. His military education includes the Ranger School Tab, his military free fall and combat diver qualifications, whiskey niner, not a lot of those people around. Yeah. And uh whiskey eight, whiskey niner, right? And his awards include the Bronze Star Medal, Purple Heart, and Meritory Service Medal. He lives in Monument, Colorado, his wife Rachel, and their two sons. Master Sergeant Lightfoot, welcome to the show, sir.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you very much for having me. It's a privilege and an honor. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00

Ah, nah, excited, man. We love having our special operations guys there, particularly Green Brays. I'm just kind of biased here a little bit. So when you joined in 2005, uh, did you join, did you go to the X-ray program? I didn't even know it was around back then.

SPEAKER_02

I did. So I had a interesting past, got got in quite a bit of trouble as a as an uh young adult and found myself in and out of the uh penal system there. So I quickly joined the military, but I was from an Air Force community. So I joined the Air Force and spent about a year and a half or a year doing that, and realized quickly I needed that needed that structure, but maybe not the right service. So I switched over to the army uh quickly after that. Um and then went went uh X-ray. Uh originally went in infantry, but had a drill sergeant who was a GB at the time from 110, and he was kind of my first like mentor in the military to kind of give me that nudge to to meet the full extent of potential there. So I went x-ray into the uh pipeline.

SPEAKER_00

Ha ha, good for him. I don't think I've ever heard of a well, I got I I can't say I've never met a Green Barade drill sergeant, and I know that when I was a team sergeant and then a sergeant major, there were a lot of efforts trying to get SF guys to go into either the recruiting commands or to go down to to be uh uh a drill sergeant, man. So that's great.

SPEAKER_02

He was one of very few, and I was lucky enough to kind of have that encounter right off the bat. So it it really was the precipice of kind of shaping my direction in the military.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, all you need is one good swift kick in the butt, man, send you in the right direction. Yeah, dude. Oh, good on you, man. So uh what would you go through basic training? Um Fort Uh Fort Bennett.

SPEAKER_02

Fort Bennett went through basic training there. Um, I actually I was supposed to be going to the 25th in Hawaii when I got my orders cut, but that drill started and hooked me up, and I I did a PT test for uh the SOCOM recruiting, and you know, I got my packet ready and he pushed me right over to the X-ray program. So I bypassed it all and went straight into the course from there, so or selection, I should say.

SPEAKER_00

Dude, yeah, so

Path To Special Forces

SPEAKER_00

engineered is one of the shorter selections there. So you were on a team right in the middle when it started getting really nasty, right?

SPEAKER_02

You ain't lying. So that's uh looking back, I it was a blessing and a curse, right? Like I I jumped right into the fight. As soon as I got to a group within two weeks, that my company and my team, that my eventual team had already been deployed. So I showed up to Rear D and it was like a ghost town. And I remember the Rear D uh first sergeant at the time was like, hey man, you got two choices. You can either either go to Ranger School or you can go deploy. And I was like, Well, I I joined this organization to deploy. I want both, uh, but I'd like to deploy. So within two weeks, I was throwing my crap in storage and heading out to Iraq. So what was your rank at this time? It was been like a DSV. There was no no loss and uh or no lull in the fight for me. It was get there, get your bags back, and head on over.

SPEAKER_00

So wow, man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, but they did they make you an e5 before you showed up, or you still have to Yeah, I was an E5, you know how they used to do it, or I think they might still do it that way. I was going to the course, started as a E3, put on E4 halfway through, showed up to group with E5, and had no idea what the hell I was doing as an NCO. Yeah. That's the way it goes, man.

SPEAKER_00

Dude, we're the five, but never had troops except for you know in school, right? Yeah, yeah, we're the rank you want, not the rank you deserve at the time, I guess. No kidding. Well, good on you, man. So you went overseas with Iraq or Afghanistan?

SPEAKER_02

That was I I went both. That one was Iraq. Um, right off the bat, it was right when we were in the heat of the Iraq trip. So um that one went down to meet my uh eventual team 212 at the time, down in Amara. So not too far from Basra. But that was my my first trip right off the bat. So yeah, so you're right out of the gun. Yeah, yeah. I honestly outside of the training, you know, you're a green thumb, green thumb at the time. You you know, you think you're a badass and you think you're a grown man, you know, going through the course and having these life experiences, and then you get to your first team in the heat of combat and you realize you realize there's levels to this thing we call life. And uh I was I was lucky enough to be uh thrown on a team with a bunch of hitters, a bunch of really experienced dudes uh who set me right. So, you know, everything hindsight's always 2020. I I look back to this day and I I thank God every day that I had those guys as my mentors and my seniors because they set me right.

SPEAKER_00

Amen. Yeah, let's let's talk about that. I mean, coming on your first 18 is pretty intimidating enough, right? I mean, I'm just going back to the mid-80s, early eighties when I got on my first team. It was like, damn, man, these guys are. But to join your team in the middle of combat, it's uh drinking, drinking, drinking from the fire hose.

SPEAKER_02

It's uh you sink or swim real quick, and you know, it kind of sets a tone of how you look at things for the rest of your career. But I I remember just trying to stay afloat, you know, day two getting in there, it wasn't it wasn't one of those rotations where you're just kind of sitting back looking for work. We were we're in a pretty hairy spot uh in Amara, taking a lot of IDF. Um, so day two ever being uh stepping foot in country, we took uh some pretty significant IDF. Uh IRAM, the improvised rocket assisting munitions that um pretty pretty uh big deal back then what they used to do in those those areas, but uh rocked our camp, you know, killed one of our terps, destroyed half the half the fob we were on. And I remember, you know, waking out of my chew to just uh eruption, everyone scattering around here and a bunch of stuff outside. So I walk out, everyone's getting uh getting at it, you know, priorities of work, get getting started on what they need to do. And I remember my warren at the time looking at me. And uh, once everything settled, he was like, All right, we gotta get the fucking one, two, three. We gotta figure out where all of our equipment is, get accountability, see what our losses are. And I just remember

First Deployment And Firehose Reality

SPEAKER_02

looking at him, I'm like, what the hell is a one, two, three? I was like, four, five, six, what's a one, two, three? And he was uh he was like, Aren't you a Charlie? I was like, Yeah, they don't teach you that shit in the course. Uh so it was that was like my first learning curve of I need to figure out real quick what my my responsibilities are out here in combat. So um Dang.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's uh that's pretty tough for a young man to be chucked in that situation, dude, and then you know, expect to thrive. I mean, Crapes, you didn't even know how to tape a weapon up or anything, man. I mean, you you literally just rolled out of the cue course.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you you you know, you revert back or following your training, which as we all know, it's phenomenal training, but it can only get you so far, you know. You gotta put that training to test and and put it into real life.

SPEAKER_00

And again, it's just the perfect. What you learn on a cue course is nothing what you do on AT. No, you know, that's the joke now. Equipment works, that's about it.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. You know, you come over there as a Charlie, you go through all that training, and you know, you're like, Oh, I got I got all the tools to to have a successful career. And the the first thing you experience when you get to an actual team, you're not prepared in the slightest. Um, but it all comes together in the end.

SPEAKER_00

It's uh Yeah, no, you put your head down, man. You sucked it up, man. Good on you. So so that was your first door. Were you in 10th group at that time?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so I just showed up to 10th group. Um, and then they put I was in uh ACO 210 uh when I showed up. So I met my team in country. Um I went flew into uh Bagram and spent a couple weeks there. Um or Baghdad, sorry. Uh flew into Baghdad, spent a couple weeks there, and then they flew me down to Amar to meet my team 212. Uh and then from that point on I was just holding on and learning from what I consider the best. So and you retired out of 10th group too, right? Yeah, well, I'm technically currently still retiring, so I should be out this year sometime. But you know, I'm unofficially tired. I've passed the VA process and now I'm just waiting for that final date. But get on you, man. So did you did you leave 10th group at all? No, outside of going back to SWIC. I went uh back to SWIC to be an instructor at the SEER course there for three years and then right back. So F Ftd or RTL?

SPEAKER_00

The RTL, yeah. I was a I was a role player out there. Yeah, I was cap I was captain on Bacalau from 1987 to 1990s.

SPEAKER_02

Oh man, it's it's a diamond in the rough, I'll tell you. There's you know, everyone's afraid to get swicked. And of course, in the middle of the war, you go kicking and screaming, but you make the best of it. And uh, you know, made me a better soldier, made me a better leader as I progressed throughout this career. And and that was one of the better spots to be out there at the RTL, uh, being in series. Yeah, I loved it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah, I did too, man. I got got a lot of schools out of it because everybody was just on. They were homesteaded, nobody wanted to do anything. I was like, where do you want to go?

SPEAKER_02

You ain't lying. I mean, you know how it is when you're when you're deploying back to back to back. I mean, early on in my career, they didn't do the six months on, eighteen months off. It was, I mean, we had nine, 10 month deployments, and you're back for six, seven months, and you're right back into it. So there wasn't a lot of opportunities for schools outside of, you know, if you're on a dive team, you got to get that dive bubble. But um, other than that, you're just you're going right back at it. So Swick was the first opportunity for me to start, you know, kind of soaking up some of those schools. That's where I got jump master, dive soup, halo, a bunch of other schools out there. So it was a good opportunity. Which uh did you go to the 82nd Jump Master School? No, they ran a uh they ran a SOCOM jump master there. Um really? Yeah, so it worked out pretty good. So we didn't have to memorize, we didn't have to memorize all a pre-jump, but they they still had some standards.

SPEAKER_00

I was the only I was in Swick and they said, Hey, I got knocked out. You know, got you know, nobody wanted to go to dive school, nobody wouldn't go to everybody wanted to go to Halo School, right? Oh, of course. Yeah, got those done, but at the end, but then uh jump master, they're like, You want to go to Jump Master, man? He's second run of school every other week. I'm like, what? I was the only green player in that god dang school, and they messed with me on Mercy. Good on you, man. I don't know how it would have been that. Oh, we all flunked. The whole class flunked, man. We all made it on the first three tests, but we all flunked the initial uh the the initial test, dude.

SPEAKER_02

I think there's one to two guys in the whole class to get on the first one the rest of the year coming in. Yeah for three.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, man. So, dude, you've you've been a 10th group man a long, long time, man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Yeah, I was lucky enough to spend, I mean, outside of my switch rotation, uh, spend my whole career here uh in 10th Main. Never made it out to Germany. I I have the desire to go out to 110. Um, I actually I made eight right before I was gonna go out there. I was a senior seven on a team and I was looking at you know, changing some things up, and I was like, you know, I'll volunteer for 110, but then you know, luck luck had it to where I made eight that year, so I ended up taking a team shortly after.

SPEAKER_00

But yeah, I mean, so how many so you have eight combat deployments right now?

Life On A-Team During The Surge

SPEAKER_00

Combat and continue.

SPEAKER_02

Not all combat. I have um five of combat deployments within Iraq, Afghanistan, Africa, and then the rest of them are Ukraine uh in support of the Ukraine conflict, and then some other contingency stuff, but uh those are more operational, not combat.

SPEAKER_00

So talk talk to, you know, talk to our audience a little bit about um, you know, training. So combat and training. Like, you know, we're focused here on repetitive brain trial, right? Flash exposure, and we try to get folks to understand the impact of what we go through when we're training. And you know, you already mentioned being blown up. I mean, you just got in country, all of a sudden this indirect fire comes running in. That's all blast exposure, right? And those are big bombs. IRAM, those are like like scud missiles and stuff, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, man. So the IRAMs, they're uh improvised rocket assistant munitions. So the way I like to explain it so you imagine a 55-gallon barrel filled with C4 and a bunch of blasting caps in there, and then you tie that bad boy off to a rocket, um, and then launch it and hope that thing lands somewhere in proximity of who you're trying to hit. That's that's what it is. It's a big boom. So that's a big boom. Yeah, that thing packs a punch. Um that was my first real exposure, like what a what real IDF looks like um or feels like. But I mean a lot of things I overlooked um throughout the training and leading up to this career was all the micro impact or micro TBIs and all those things you go through in training, specifically on the engineer side, right? As as a Charlie, almost every day as you're training, you're you're either building, constructing, or um pulling charges every day. Um, and those things add up. You might not feel it um every time you pull that charge, but you're gonna feel the compounding effects of that as you continue throughout your career. Um But that and then back then we didn't we kind of put safety to the whim a little bit, right? Like you want to be close to that door, you're not you know, always looking at uh your minimum safe distance and having barriers between you and the explosion. You want to be that first one in the door, right? So uh that pride gets a hold of you and you start chasing charges or you start creeping on those charges and uh takes uh takes a toll on you over time.

SPEAKER_00

So then chucking more charges as you go.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, you're never as a Charlie, you're never short of them.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. No, I mean that's and that's part of it too, is that I mean, so during those years, right? So you you join in 2005, you're probably on a team in 2006, right? That's when it started to get stupid, ugly. Yeah, uh, then you go all the way through, you know, the end of the wars, whatever, and you keep going. Um, you know, talk to about talk to us about about some of the uh the the op tempo of these blasts, right? I mean, because you're either either in combat or you're training for combat. Yeah. I mean, pretty much nonstop.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's nonstop. Like you said, the really, especially during the G Watt, when you're training for actual combat, you know, back here, you're out at the range, you're simulating it, right? You're you're building charges every day, you're blowing those, blowing the doors uh for the assault team. Um, you're building cachet charges, so the big booms. I mean, it is there's not a week that goes by, it'd say on average, two to three times a week. You're out there at a demo range um taking taking the uh concussion of the charge at some capacity, um, on top of using heavy weapons as well. So you have the concussions of um you know the mob deuces and some of the uh the bigger caliber weapon systems out there and the Mark 19s, and you know, I mean you're you're uh simulating and going out and throwing grenades. And so every day there's some sort of uh influx of concussive blast. Um and that's just in training. And then that can that can ramp up while you're actually in combat, you know, to where you're doing that every night. So there's really not a break that your body takes uh during those during those peak times throughout the war.

SPEAKER_00

And during this time, did you did you ever have a major impact where you thought you might have like say a concussion, like loss of consciousness or anything like that, get dizzy or anything like that?

SPEAKER_02

So there was a handful during training, right? Uh some of them were some jumps, you know. Anyone who's airborne qualified has been on a couple bad jumps where you know you lose some of those glimpses of reality and you start piecing all together. Like, what the hell just happened? Um so there's a couple jumps there. There's a couple blasts um going through some CQB training where you're um popping off charges inside of confined spaces and it sets you

Training Loads And Daily Blasts

SPEAKER_02

back and you feel like your body's catching up to your mind a little bit. But the most significant one for me was in 2019 on a trip in Afghanistan. I was assault cell leader on assault one, and uh, we got in a pretty hairy situation where we're in uh uh a pretty big troops in contact to tick. And um, I walked into a house to go clear a house. As soon as I walked in, they clacked it off um and walked right into an H-bit house born IED. And uh I woke up, you know, who knows where, how many 20, 30 minutes later with body parts laying on me, not knowing what the hell happened. So that was kind of the uh significant changing point in my life um that I could notice right off the bat within you know months later, like I'm a different person, just a different person from that one.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, let's dial into that a little bit. I mean, because you know, it's you know, you're talking 2019, okay. So you've got you know 13 years at least on on teams, right? Continuous combat exposure, a little bit of swift time, got it, but you got to do that, right? Yeah. Um so you know, the uh and after this one, you know, what what what what what did you start noticing that was different? Or do you think it was kind of creeping up a little bit and this one just kind of took it over the edge?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think it's a culmination of all of it, right? Like without a doubt, it was creeping. I mean, there's little changes as you look back, you know, there's a little changes. You know, the great, the great reminder of that is your loved ones, your wife, your closest friends and family. They'll tell you, you know, you're you're a little different here and there after some trips and training. But after that one significantly, um I I could see to myself, sometimes you don't want to admit it because we still had fighting left to do. Um, we still had combat left, and I was still operational on a team. So you look past some of it or you try to convince yourself that it's that things aren't changing. But um, once you actually accept it and have some realization, you're like, man, I I need to get some help. I've I've got some things that are messed up, both mentally and and just psychologically. Like um, so you you didn't have any breath.

SPEAKER_00

So you you got you like woke up and you went right back into the fight. Did you you didn't get a break or anything?

SPEAKER_02

No, so I I woke up um and I I had broken bones in the face, I'd just been knocked out for you know who knows how long, had no idea where I was, I was throwing up on myself. Um I had one of my teammates come pull me out and carry me to a CCP, and I was still in and out going in and out. I have small memories of pieces of all this. Um I haven't really been able to piece it all together outside of like teammates and and people telling me kind of what happened, big picture, but um they ended up metavacing me on that one, um, and then flew me back to uh a role too to get some help. So um ended up flying home because two weeks later uh my first son was born. So my uh one of the docs that works at Thus Het 10th Group did uh did a really good job and helping get me out of care overseas and flying me home so I could see my son born. But um gosh. Yeah, it was it was just a a culmination of a lot of things going on in life. I ended up flying back a little over a month later because that was a rough trip. We lost, you know, four of my best friends during that trip and some absolute giants of legends within our organization. And you know, you kind of have some of that survivor's guilt and some of that, you know, I was a leader on that ODA, I gotta get back and get in the fight. Looking back now, that was not the right. Choice to make. I can definitively say I should have I should have stayed back and healed a little bit more and also you know um supported the wife uh during the the birth of our first child. Um but I I went back and and jumped right back into it and uh that definitely didn't help things in the long run.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I bet I mean it's uh you know the the let's talk about stigma a little bit. Okay. So

The 2019 House-Borne IED

SPEAKER_00

we all know, I mean, I didn't have my troubles until my late 50s, early sixties when all the crazy stuff I did and playing, you know, all army rug beans semi-pro stuff caught up with me and and I didn't want to talk about it. You know, I mean I was crying, panic attacks, all this stuff. You know, I I know girl, I can eat this up instead of start until it started eating me up. Sure. Um, you know, talk about this. What how did what made you you know start you know opening up about what uh what your struggles with so that you know you could start, you know, yeah, you know, head heading on the way back up.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, sure. So early on when you're young in the game, you you feel like you have to carry this, you know, this outside persona that you know nothing can can get past your armor, you're indestructible, you don't want to show weakness in terms of your vulnerability and things that are happening. Um but as you get older and you're a leader, uh you start seeing that that's deteriorating you as a person, it's deteriorating you as a leader. Um, and you can see that you're teaching that younger generation uh the same thing, like that they need to hide all their all their emotions, they need to hide their vulnerabilities, they need to bury that deep down. I think for me, really the catalyst was um coming home and seeing my wife and my kid, um, and and just staring at them and and looking her in the eye and being like, I need to make a change. I need to change some things personally, I need to get some help so I can be a better father, I can be a better husband, I can be a better person. Um and then couple that with losing the only mentors and people I considered family in combat, I had to carry on their legacy. And you cannot carry on their legacy if you are not good yourself. The last thing I want to do is say their name every day and talk about what a great influence they are, but then not live by that example. Um so it was just the perfect storm of I gotta be this guy, I gotta be the right man for myself, gotta be the right father for my kid, the right husband for my wife, and then the flag bearer for this generation that just gave their all for us. So um I think that was kind of the beginning of the next stage in life.

SPEAKER_00

That's a big step, man. And um, you know, did and so were was the military supportive? I know I I mean I I don't know where things have gone. And as I know a lot of there's a lot of support mechanisms nowadays that didn't exist in my in my day.

SPEAKER_02

So sure. The military absolutely supportive. My my issue is uh we have so many uh resources out there that I don't think a lot of them are are checked or spot checked all the time or or validated. You know, we have all these great resources in the military, but a lot of it's almost like a flyer. Call this number if you need some out, call or go to this uh website and sign up for this program or whatever. But I honestly, the best resources and the best treatment I have had have been outside of the military. And that's not a hit on the military. It's just I've gotten better care or more personable care outside of the military. The military supported it 100% of the way. Um, it just wasn't afforded by the military per se.

SPEAKER_00

And I think the uh you know the challenges for the military, much like the challenges that we have with the VA for our veteran community right now, is that all they have are drugs and therapy. They they can't they can't prescribe anything, right? They even if they knew of something. I mean, I know there's a little bit of ketamine going on right now, which back then could have helped you out a lot, probably. Yeah. Um stelic ganglion blocks. I mean, there's a bunch of stuff out there that can it can help our military, but they just don't. They don't have access to it. And then, of course, if they refer it to you, they kind of admit that they aren't doing the right thing, you know.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, exactly. I mean, there's to your point, there's a lot of roadblocks, there's a lot of uh restraints. Um, and there's great people who understand the benefits of this stuff, they're just constrained by the the military structure and what we're allowed to do. Um, so but there are thank god there's so many great resources and programs outside that are you know standing by waiting to pick up and and take off where the military can't technically do right now.

SPEAKER_00

So let me ask you a question. When you were struggling, um, and they said, okay, uh, because when you're struggling, uh, the thing is you're obviously struggling. When you say, hey, I'm having problems, well, you're having problems, man. Did anybody say that it could have been your brain health that was causing

Symptoms, Stigma, And Denial

SPEAKER_00

the problem, or are they just targeting the symptoms like the anger, the whatever they were, right? The impulsivity, depression, anxiety, grief, whatever it is, right? You got you I mean, after losing four of your buds, too, man, grief's all in there too, right? So and then guilt and shame and all this other stuff that just piles on. So um, you know, what what was the initial like the approach to to helping you get back on your feet?

SPEAKER_02

Honestly, self-recognition and teammates and my wife were really the identifiers of like there's something more than the um the byproduct of what's actually happening here. The military, you know, you when everyone's operational, we're we're focused on, hey, can this individual perform the task at hand to the level we need him to do it today? Um, they're not necessarily focused on the individual and all the intricacies and problems he has or may have and and and fixing that right then and there. And again, this isn't a hit on the military. You know, they they're going a thousand miles an hour and they don't have time to stop for every single individual. Um so it's on us to identify that. Um But I I honestly didn't know. I just saw these other byproducts of like the anger was there, the substance abuse was there, the change in demeanor and emotion was there. All of it was there, but I never really stopped to think like, hey, this might be byproducts of a more significant or a bigger issue, right? It's clear as day to me now, which is crazy, right? You once you actually take the step to better yourself and acknowledge it, it's clear as day to me. But back then I would have never it would have never led me to, hey, here's the culprit.

SPEAKER_00

Let's fix this, let's stop band dating uh product, right? No, that I mean that's uh and that's uh that's a huge issue with this, is that you know, out of most of these programs that are out there, all almost all of them are completely unaware of that. The men, you know, the the challenges they're seeing in our in our veteran population, they're not aware that it could be connected to what 13 years of blast exposure, right? I mean, we got a problem here. You know, it's like god dang. And once you once you see it, you can't unsee it. So now you see it everywhere, right?

SPEAKER_02

That's it. That is 100% it. It's not it's not rocket science. But once you sit down with someone and they start asking you questions out loud and you start answering out loud, you're like, dear God, yeah, I guess I've been taking I've been taking this to the face for the last, you know, better half of 20 years. Like it makes perfect sense. But you know, when you're operational, you you just have a one-track mind, everything else is just off to the side. It's like, is it gonna benefit me if I stop to think about this? No, the mission's that way, so I'm gonna keep charging that way.

SPEAKER_00

Um I mean, I mean, we'll do anything to stay on that A team. I mean, I know. I know you'll do it's uh, but so when at what point did somebody say, hey, we gotta start looking at we gotta start working on your brain, dude. When did when did that happen?

SPEAKER_02

Well, my my wife tried telling me quite a bit, and I just you know, you're you're stuck with it.

SPEAKER_01

What do you know?

SPEAKER_02

You're gonna ride this out with me. And she she knew before anyone else, right? And they oftentimes always do. Um, but I mean, I hit I hit the lowest point in my life. It was after that 2019 trip. You know, I lost some of the greatest people I've ever met in my life. That in and of itself takes a huge toll on you. Um, the blast itself, one of the most significant uh injuries I've received uh happened that year as well. The depression, anxiety, anger, all that just weighed heavy on me to where I got to the point where I hit rock bottom, right? Like I was down here sitting in front of my safe, you know, the story as old as time with guys like us and just contemplating, you know, what what's next for me? You know, how could I be, how could I be, you know, this great teen guy in combat and needed and uh have worth on the in that aspect, but then I come home and everything I do is wrong. You know, society doesn't accept me. I'm always angry, I'm doing the wrong thing, I'm not reacting the right way, I have no worth, I'm not benefiting anything or anyone around me. At least that's what I thought in my head, right? Um, on top of having some of the the physical

Hitting Bottom And Asking For Help

SPEAKER_02

effects as well, with the memory loss and the vision and um all sorts of other things. It all just kind of compounded to where uh again, I bring up my wife a lot, but she's my saving grace. She came down one day and you know, I was at the lowest point in my life, and she's like, hey, it's now or never. You know, she's like, Let me make a phone call. So she made the phone call for me. Um, and she called the right person, which set everything into effect to to get me on the path to where I am today.

SPEAKER_00

So nice, nice. And um, and then during that time, what were some of the treatments that helped you the most? Like, what did you go through that really had that profound impact or that you knew, hey man, I'm on my way. I I could get back, right? Because I'm I'm feeling better, you know?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. Well, first and foremost, therapy. You know, like um I think that is if I could go back and talk to 21-year-old Colin, I'd say start therapy now. Not not even if you don't have significant issues to deal with, but maintenance, just straight up maintenance to help prep you and and take care of yourself mentally throughout everything you're about to endure in life. Um, but it helped help me kind of dissect what root problems were, um, helped me to acknowledge things. Um it helped my relationship at the time, but on top of that, um getting into the right program. So, like uh getting accepted into the Marcus Institute for Brain Health, and then doing some of the uh some of the treatments that they had uh administered for me there, it suggested I do. So some of the hyperbaric um chamber treatment was amazing. Um DMR was great. Um some of these, then getting on the right meds. There's like a concoction of things that helped immediately that I'd been avoiding for such a long time.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Yeah, the I mean, and that's uh we'll have a conversation after this show a little bit. We'll get more. But uh, you know, that and that and and and that's a great start because uh the the the Marcus Institute does a great job with our veterans, man, trying to help them find their way and and and get them moving because you know we you you know you look at all that all that trauma that you know that you've gone through, right? And then that you know, once we're out, we shouldn't have to go through it anymore, right? We got enough things to do, man. I mean, transition is not a lot of fun, you know, for a lot of guys, man. It's a scary time, you know, leaving the army. I talked I've talked to colonels and generals, man. I I got a buddy of mine, he's a far star, four star right now. He's scared he's scared of he's scared of getting out, you know. You know, it's like, yeah, it's it's not. It's it's it is the biggest jump we make, and especially with a family man, it's hard. So, you know, we you know I we need to keep our boys together, you know.

SPEAKER_02

I definitely am blessed right now to have kind of recognized some of the issues prior to starting transition because I do feel like it put me in a a great mental position to to transition. Um, yeah, it's scary, and yeah, there's a lot of obstacles and hurdles that are still to come, but I feel like I came into this prepared as well as I could be just by recognition of um, you know, looking in myself and seeing what issues I have and what I need to fix or or work on, and then also getting the help I needed. I think it's set me straight to where I can actually enter this stage of my life and my career appropriately.

SPEAKER_00

Well, I mean, you went back and you performed, you were a team sergeant for three years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, so I mean, god dang, something, something, something went right. I mean, you go from the bottom, and next thing you know, you're you're doing the best job in the United States Army. That's right. Thank God you got three years, man. My I couldn't get my team sergeants more than two, and I was so upset. They just kept rotating them in, man.

SPEAKER_02

I'm like, gosh, no, I don't know. Tooth and no for that third year, and then eventually you're old news and you gotta go, but yeah, we got too many UK.

SPEAKER_00

It is, dude. Man, that that is. Uh, what kind of did you have like uh did you have a specialty team of Halo Street? Yeah, it's a dive team, uh Team Sergeant.

SPEAKER_02

Ah, yeah.

Treatments That Moved The Needle

SPEAKER_00

I don't like you anymore, man. I never got to be on a dive team.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's I started this career and one didn't know anything about diving and uh didn't know anything about dive squads naive. I you know, now everyone knows all the ins and outs of all the schools, but when I was going through the key course back then, all you cared about was getting to combat. So I showed up and had the opportunity to go to a dive team and found out real quick that it's not as easy as just getting your feet wet. So uh can't breathe water. Yeah, the reality is I just wanted to be with those guys on that team. Uh so I was gonna do whatever it took to get there. I'm from Nebraska. I didn't grow up around the water or even knew how to swim, but uh had some grit and uh some determination and uh it all worked out so need that, man.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it was funny. I was in Key West uh last year with my wife, and uh we just go went down there for a weekend. I said, You've been there. She goes, No, it's a let's go. And uh we went off to the dive school and the gate was open. So we drove in and I'm I'm walking around the building because you know you got the class photos, right? We all got our class photo, and I was looking for mine because a couple of my old buddies said they had found it in his old story there. I'll tell you something. Yeah, yeah. Um I got busted and the C7 company goes, Can I help you? I said, Yeah, it was kind of nobody nobody stopped us. I was just saying, honey, you got it. Let's go find me. Anyway, they kicked us out, but on the way out, I looked at that pool. I said, Is that the same pool? He goes, Yeah, it's been around. I said, I was the first class in that thing. I hated it. That's awesome. I get I'm I'm I'm trained in a Lee Fieldhouse on Fort Bragg, and I go from that little tiny bathtub to that monster lake, and I hated it, dude, man. Yeah. But they mean a dive guy in 10th group, man, cracking ice and all that stuff. That ain't no fun, man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, the cold weather divers, everyone laughs and they're like, uh, you're we have divers here in Colorado. I'm like, yeah, I mean, technically every dive we do is an advanced dive, it's all altitude diving. But uh, you know, you have the right equipment and uh ice diving or cold weather diving can be fun. But it's an also it's an opportunity, the selling point for these young kids to go to dive school. It's like, hey, it's an opportunity to have awesome J sets, go to great places, you're always on the beach. Yeah, so just make sure you pack your Sentan lotion, UDTs, and you're good to go. And you have to re-quall.

SPEAKER_00

So there's only one place to re-quall. We gotta go.

SPEAKER_02

Famous requall, you know.

SPEAKER_00

The famous re-quall. Yeah, yeah. I've been a part of those little jumps down there at Key West and into the water from Fort Bragg or whatever. Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

You gotta have fun, man. Well, I mean, dude, you've made the most of it. I mean, got to start. Yeah, you're you're set up for success, man. Uh you know, I think uh you're doing great. Um what would I mean I I was on General Fenton's health key, you know, for you know, brain and stuff, and I used to just keep posted on the veteran side, which you're getting ready to be one of us now, right? Yeah, yeah. Um, what do you think the military could do for blast exposure to mitigate some of the I mean, we gotta be lethal, right? We gotta be badasses. What can we do to kind of in your mind, you know, coming right out right now, what do you think we could do to kind of minimize some of the some of the exposure that you went through? You know, they used to limit AT4s, stuff like that. I mean, you got any thoughts on you know how we it's not about making shit safer, pardon my French. It's more about making it less impactful on these, on, on our brains, because you can you can only take so much of it, man.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I mean honestly, I think to your point, like the job in and of itself is dangerous. You're already gonna expose yourself to risk. So I'd be nice, I'd be naive or out of places here and say, here's what we need to do to make sure every time you're around a blast, it's gonna be 100% safe. It it is what it is. We signed up for this job for a reason, right? But what I do think we can do is help take care of the guys post-doing their job. And not not just after their career, but after events. So, like when you're done with training, let's inject some of this uh some of this better treatment that they have outside of the military. Let's look at things holistically. Let's look at things like there's a plethora of things that science back that

Fixing The System: Military And VA Gaps

SPEAKER_02

are science backed that can absolutely help an individual or help uh things to uh culminate over time if you inject it after the point of contact. So, you know, you get done with a heavy week of breaching or get done with a heavy week of uh clacking off AT4s or uh Carl G's, like they should be going right into a some sort of treatment protocol or some sort of like uh PT or therapy to help with the residual effects of that. I mean, some of the stuff isn't even isn't even that crazy. Like put a hyperbearic chamber in the company, right? You know, and have guys go sit in that for an hour every couple days. I mean that's it does that's tried and true. It helps me. I mean, part of it is it's it's uh meditating for me to sit in there, but there's science behind you know, pressure treatment. Like there's science behind going in hyperbaric chambers and using it as treatment. That's low cost, low impact on on the surface itself, but you know, helped tenfold for the individual that's exposed to these blasts on a daily basis. Um I think at this point there's little things we can do that have massive effects that don't take a lot.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean it is it is total aggregate exposure. I mean, look, you know, once you fire an AT4, you know, you get halfway, you don't need to fire 40 of them in a week, right? I mean, you can I mean there's always the pleasure of not feeling your hands, right? Or whatever. But we have to understand that this stuff is dangerous. And and when I say dangerous, it has an impact on us. So just like you know, we used to go around with you know nuclear detectors looking for, you know, and now we know that nuclear material kind of passes through us, right? We do we'll have to, you know, that they have to mitigate some of it, you know. And same thing, you can't be a range safety officer for every class for every day. And yeah, so I think rotating jobs, you you don't have to leave the teams at all. But we we have we do have to look at, you know, individuals like yourself. You represent, and I would say honestly, a majority of the people leaving special operations that have been in an operational role since 9-11. Okay. That's it. All right, because your story is told over and over and over and over again. So if we that was my point, I stood up in front of the general and I told everybody, I said, look, when I signed up to be a Green Bray, I knew I was gonna retire broke. I knew I was gonna have busted bones, busted brains, whatever. But I knew the VA was gonna take care of me. But we didn't know about repetitive blast exposure. Right now, the VA can't take care of you when you get out. That's why you made the statement about these fantastic organizations that have all these treatment programs. Sure. And and that's part of what we owe you, right? Is to take the lessons learned that we have right now and and and not force, but get the VA to understand that we have a problem, and this is what we need to do. Because, you know, infantrymen, you know, they they get thinged up, but they don't get thinged up to the point we we you know, we we have access to too much craziness, right? I mean, you're in the shoot house, you're on the range, whatever, right? But they they still get impacted, don't get me wrong. Yep. Uh, but we we do have uh an issue here uh that we we need to work on to mitigate this uh this exposure and and and do the best we can. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I mean, and as someone who's going through the BA process right now, like my personal experience has been great so far. I don't really have much to say negatively about the process. I I think for me, it turns out if you're actually screwed up, they're gonna take care of you, you know, um for the most part. But with that, I will say there shouldn't be we shouldn't be in a position with careers like we've had to have to fight for, you know, the treatment that you need or the the coverage or you know uh resources. That they have. You shouldn't have to fight for that explain, over-explain to so many people on why you need this. Like, look at the guy's career, look what he's been through, look at everything he's been exposed to. Right off the bat, it should should already be set in stone. I'm not not talking about just me. I'm talking about anyone who's been in this position or experienced this type of career. It shouldn't be this hard to advocate on behalf of yourself and the organization to get what you need at the end of it.

SPEAKER_00

So the issue is getting the VA to recognize it. Have they asked you about brain health or repetitive blast exposure at all during your time there? All right. This is something else that we'll talk about because I ended up educating the VA, and I will give you what's called a GBEV, and uh which is a a form that SOCOM developed to calculate your blast exposure. You've got your medical records, you've got your documentation. There is, even though they don't ask the question, there is absolutely no problem with you saying, hey, I've got,

Recognition, Loss, And Legacy

SPEAKER_00

you know, I want to claim disability for my brain, and this is why. And if they don't give you that, you call me back. All right, because they should, as part, and this is what we're running into, Colin, out there is that the VA is completely uneducated on repetitive blast exposure and C impacts to include mental illness, all right? And the fact that you've already had you know challenges, you've had exposure, you've got the MOS, you've got the longevity, there the correlation between, you know, the fact that your body's been impacted in any way. Whether it's uh you know chips on the show, you know, and they chips in the elbow, scars, bullet wounds, or damage to the brain needs to be accounted for by the VA and properly treated, which they are not doing well right now. And I'm not knocking the VAM saying they've got their own hands, their own handcuffs, but I am pretty pissed that they're not moving. And uh that's what my that's my job out here. But at the same time, um, they should be asking you these questions. And when they don't, then you tell them this is what I've been through, this is what I know, and this is what you need to be looking at. And if they say, Well, we don't look at that stuff, then you come find us because we'll make sure that they look at it for you. Because that's that's yeah, it's just uh it's it's what we're trying to change. And to hear that, they have not asked you about that is still is very distressing because we've been screaming out here for four years, and so our job is to educate you and every other veteran that's listened to this thing, say, look, you know, if you can relate the collin story, then um and the VA's not asking these questions, you need to tell them about what you've been through. And um, and that's what I had to do. I wasn't even looking, I didn't even need any disability. I didn't want it. And they came back with a pile of it. And all he asked me is, you got any, you got any scars? And I said, Come look at my eyebrows. He's like, What the hell have you been doing? I said, dude, I played all army rugby for eight years. And I got shot in the face at the 10th group, at the 10th group uh shooting facility when one of my ding dogs missed a bullet trap, bullet shared. I was up when the catwalk. I was like, yeah, we had to set up on, we set that thing up, the Sofalt course back in the day.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah. No, that's a great point, though. You know, like going through the processor over there measuring all your scars. Like, how do you do that up here? How do you measure, how do you, you know, quantify the size of scars up here? Like, if that's that seems so archaic, if that's the system and the process that we're doing to, you know, validate or determine someone's disability. It's like, well, let me see what the size of the scar is when you got your hand surgery. It's like, okay, that doesn't even tell tell the story, man.

SPEAKER_00

So no, and actually, they're actually talking about purple hearts right now for these kind of injuries. I mean, I don't know what the difference is between taking a bullet to you know the the shoulder and you know taking multiple blasts. And some people are pro or con out there, it doesn't care. But we also have a whole bunch of guys that are not here anymore because they didn't stick around. And I think some recognition would do them and their families a lot, a lot of good.

SPEAKER_02

But 100% like yeah, you know Yeah, but you know, one of my best friends uh unfortunately took his life not too long ago, and that's a byproduct of war. I mean, that is a an injury of war. Everything that happened up here and everything that got to the point where he couldn't handle anymore. He wasn't like that before. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00

Most of our guys out there, and you've you you've you've reached it. I've I've been through the initial parts of it myself. I had to put my my head back together. But it's all from blast, dude. It's all from blast, or if you played football up through high school, and now you got all that's coming in with you to the army, right? You don't see that shit, right? And so then you got all the you got the octagon of 10th group, you guys slam each other around, and then you got blast, you got you got all this trauma, and we think that it doesn't have any impact. I mean, we thought this for you know 100 years. Ah, we can just beat each other in the head, we'll be fine. Get a skull. That don't help us. So now's the time that if we do know it, that we got to take it to the VA, you know, and and and and make them give you what you deserve. So I can't agree. Yeah, yeah. Can't thank you enough for

Marcus Institute: Integrated Brain Care

SPEAKER_00

your service, man. It's uh amazing journey. Oh, and tell us, I think you just you got honored at the uh the Market Institute at the gala, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it was an awesome experience, man. I love that organization. Uh great people, great.

SPEAKER_00

Tell us about that a little bit. A lot of people don't know what they do.

SPEAKER_02

Uh so the Marcus Institute for Behavioral Health, right? So it's a one-stop shop to really identify um the problems you have with brain health, right? And injuries, and then they give you a comprehensive uh essentially a check or or appointments through neuro, through behavior health, through PT, through everything from from everything from top to bottom of of what could have gone wrong wrong based off of your medical records and your experience. They tailor it to you and then they build you a tailored program on how to give you the tools, uh, techniques to get better, right? Whether it's medication, whether it's PT, whether it's mental health, all these things. They package it all up and then give you all the tools you need to make yourself better. Uh it was the first time in my journey of recovery that I had some a subject matter expert on the other side of the table explain to me, here's why you feel these this way. Um, and here's what you need to do about it. Again, some of the stuff I just need to be told, right? And these people gave me the why is this happening to me. And then on top of that, they gave me here's what you can do to fix it. Um and then the continued care, I think, is one of the biggest thing that this organization does is you don't just leave after three weeks of their intense um outpatient treatment. They call you up and they check on you and they revamp things if things aren't working. They I mean, they continue to take care of you. Um I think that is probably the biggest thing that sets them and organizations like them apart from others, is they understand that this isn't just a you come in and you get fixed. This is a lifelong issue you're gonna have to deal with. And here are the tools that you can use to help you deal with it appropriately. And then they tweak it as you need it. Um, but yeah, I was able to go to the gala and and be lucky enough to be the keynote speaker there, and it was uh a a great opportunity, one to have a platform to to talk to people from this perspective of the significance of brain injuries and then what brain health means in order to combat that.

SPEAKER_00

So uh excellent. I mean, that's uh I'm glad you're honored, and um, I want to thank you for your service. And and I know you don't have a social media platform yet, or you're you haven't started a business, but what's next for Colin Lightfoot? Talk a little bit about what you got planned.

SPEAKER_02

You got a wife, two boys. Yeah, I did just start a business this year, which is great. And we're we're slowly trying to build that social media presence. Business has been great. It's called Colorado Custom Design LLC. So we do screen clean, embroidery, and engraving. Um, it's taken off. Uh, you know, we're we're blessed to have a uh a demographic and a platform that has been utilizing us, and uh things have been great. So that's kind of what I'm gonna be doing in the foreseeable future as long as that continues to progress. Um, biggest thing, like you mentioned before, is just being here for the family. Um my kids are are still young, so it's nice to be able to close out this chapter of my life and essentially be a present father. Uh and a loyal husband. So those are those are priority number one, and then hopefully incentivized by this business uh number two.

SPEAKER_00

So nah, great, man. Yeah, be a dad, man. It was it's been my my biggest, my best title out of all the crap I've done in my life, man.

SPEAKER_02

Being called dad is just yeah, it's uh pretty easily

Transition, Family, And New Business

SPEAKER_02

it's pretty easy to be vulnerable and open when you're doing it for your kids because nothing else matters. You know what I mean? Nothing else. I know who I am. Uh so uh it's just a a blessing to to be a present dad for these kids every day.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, good. And I'll I'll educate all about them contact sports and which sports to play. Because there's a bunch of them you don't want your boys playing. But no, cannot think about it. And uh maybe we'll get some of our our next uh t-shirts from the company ordered to you, man. I'll get your website. What's you have a website? What's your what's the name of the website?

SPEAKER_02

Uh www.coloradocustomdesignlc.com. Yeah, we got Instagram, Facebook website. We're up and running full fledged. So whatever you want, whatever you want, we got it.

SPEAKER_00

We'll help you brand. All right, man. Dude, I can use some branding right now. I got a CEO coming in, man. I can need all the brand help I get. Well, Colin, thank you so much for sharing your story with you, man.

SPEAKER_02

Uh yeah, no, I appreciate it again. It was uh a privilege, honor to be on the show, and and thank you very much.

SPEAKER_00

Yep, your honor, um and your service, man. We we cannot thank you enough for what you've done for this country, and and um, and we will work digital diligently as you know as a society to make sure that you and everybody else that's been um through the gauntlet that you've had to keep this company, this country in one piece, gets the support you deserve. So thank you so much. And uh good talking to another Green Beret, man. That's right. Always a pleasure. All right. All right, folks. Well, another awesome episode of uh Broken Brains, man. Really like if you get a chance, like it, share it, you know, send it out on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, wherever you want, X, I don't care. We're all over the place. Uh, remember, uh 10th of March, big uh mismatch socks for Mac Day. Our son was colorblind and could never match his socks. So we have thousands of people that take pictures of their mismatched feet and send them in on Instagram, hit our Facebook site. Don't forget, go to the website. I just rewrote this entire book for parents. I've got another 50 pages of new stuff because in five years since Mac left me, I've learned so much. It's gonna be up on the website by the end of next month. Um, PDF download. Uh, we're gonna have it in Spanish for all you seven Coopers out there. It's gonna be an audio book. So, I mean, we're gonna have it out there, and we got the app, smart uh head smart app on Google and Apple Store. Get it, the only app with repetitive ed impact information on it. And we got the and we got the the conference coming up in September, and we're gonna announce those dates as well as our big gala or big our big drink 'em up at the Army Navy game. Got a lot going on in 2026. Can't wait. There's I'm so happy we're starting series uh season two on the show. But uh, thank you all so much for for listening. Can not uh thank you enough for paying attention. The questions you're sending in are awesome. And take care of those kids. Remember, they only got one melon, so take care of it. So God bless you all. We'll see you next time on Broken Brains. Take care.