Broken Brains with Bruce Parkman
Broken Brains with Bruce Parkman is presented by The Mac Parkman Foundation
The mission of this show and the foundation is To serve as a source of information, resources, and communications to the community of parents, coaches/Athletic trainers, medical staff, and athletes that are affected by sports-related concussions and to raise awareness of the long-term implications of concussive and sub-concussive trauma to our children.
Broken Brains will also explore how Concussive Trauma impacts our Service Members and Veterans.
Join us every week as Bruce interviews leaders and experts in various Medical fields, as well as survivors of Concussive trauma.
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Broken Brains with Bruce Parkman
From Super Bowl to Brain Trauma: Ben Utecht’s Fight for Awareness & Recovery
In this powerful episode of Broken Brains with Bruce Parkman, presented by the Mac Parkman Foundation, host Bruce Parkman sits down with Super Bowl Champion and former NFL tight end Ben Utecht to uncover the harsh realities of repetitive brain trauma and life after the NFL. Ben shares his deeply personal journey through concussions, memory loss, and identity struggles—offering insight into how brain injuries can alter not just performance, but purpose.
Now an author, speaker, and brain health advocate, Ben talks about building “championship culture” off the field and using his platform to raise awareness about player safety, cognitive rehabilitation, and the mental health challenges many athletes and veterans face. This episode is a must-listen for anyone concerned with the long-term impacts of sports injuries, TBI, and mental resilience.
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Hey folks, welcome to another edition of Broken Brains with Bruce Parkman, where we look at the issue of repetitive brain trauma, from repetitive head impacts in contact sports to repetitive blast exposure in our military veterans, and what these conditions are doing to the brains of our children, our athletes and our military veterans. And what these conditions are doing to the brains of our children, our athletes and our military veterans, causing pretty much the largest preventable cause of mental illness in this country. And why this show is important is that this phenomenon is not taught in any medical, psychological or nursing programs at this time. Yet it affects millions of Americans, so you need to be informed. So on the show we reach out to athletes and we reach out to researchers, doctors, scientists to bring you as much information as possible so you can make informed decisions about the people that you love and the people that you know, because we come across folks all the time that are impacted by those conditions and there is hope and a lot of people don't even know it.
Speaker 1:On our show today, another remarkable guest, mr Ben Utech. Am I saying that right, sir Utech? Utech, all right, from Minnesota. Mr Utech is a former NFL tight end who played for the Indianapolis Colts, the arc enemy of the New England Patriots and the Cincinnati Bengals. A Super Bowl 51. Get those numbers right. 51 champion with the Colts 41. 41. Man, I got to go back to high school with those Roman numbers. Man, I'm going to have to get this dialed up. A Super Bowl 41 championship with the Indianapolis Colts. Then retired due to complications from multiple concussions. After football, he became a speaker, author and award-winning singer with the Indianapolis Coats.
Speaker 1:Ben, retired due to complications from multiple concussions. After football, he became a speaker, author and award-winning singer advocating for brain health and traumatic brain injury awareness. He is also the author of Counting the Days While my Mind Slips Away, which chronicles his journey with memory loss and identity. Ben, welcome to the show and it sounds like we're going to have an amazing talk. Man, really appreciate you being here. Thank you, ah, no biggie man. So talk about how did you get into the NFL? What in life got you there? Was it your dad? What got you there?
Speaker 2:I grew up in a really unique family environment, a family that celebrated athletics and the arts. My dad was a vocal music major to be a choir teacher. My mom was a singer and so we grew up, you know, with music all around the family but then also very, you know, a very dedicated family to sports. And so I was kind of in that unique world of being in you know three different sports but five different choirs. It's just kind of you know a unique situation and in you know three different sports but five different choirs. It was just kind of you know a unique situation.
Speaker 2:And you know I was, you know um. I was about six, five, two hundred pounds, you know my, my senior year in in high school and um got recruited to the university of minnesota as a wide receiver um, and then moved to tight end within a year after putting on some good weight and that was probably the best move I could have ever done, you know and became one of the top tight ends in the country and then had a chance to do what every young, you know, athlete's dream is to play in the NFL. And that became a reality through Tony Dungy and the Indianapolis Colts and I was blessed to be on that Super Bowl team. So yeah, it was a pretty amazing journey, man, thinking back growing up in a small river town of Hastings, minnesota, out in the Mississippi, to being on a Super Bowl championship field, pretty special.
Speaker 1:I bet man, I mean. And what a remarkable journey. What other sports did you play when you were in high school? You said you did.
Speaker 2:When you grow up in the state of hockey, no choice. I was also a goalie in hockey, so I was a big goalie. We had a great team that was always top three in the state. When I was there, three guys on my high school team went full scholarship to the University of Minnesota for hockey and then I went for football and then we had another guy go for basketball. So my senior year in high school we had five guys go full ride to the University of Minnesota for three different sports, which was pretty cool for the town, but hockey track.
Speaker 1:All right. What did you do in track as a 6'5" 200-pound guy Shot put.
Speaker 2:I honestly went to. You know, the reason for joining track, which I didn't join until my senior year, was to get ready for gopher football. I mean, I just wanted to stay in shape, so uh. But I ended up going to the. I ended up going to the state for long jump and became all state in long jump. Never did it until two weeks before the conference championship and I ended up, I think, jumping almost 23 feet. So that was, uh, it's kind fun surprise.
Speaker 1:So during your yeah, so your exposure to what we call repetitive impact started, you know, pretty much in high school. Did you play any middle school at all?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. So. When I was growing up in Minnesota the tackle football started in fourth grade. So fourth grade would have been the start of that. And then hockey. You know you're wearing pads and helmets. You're not allowed to check until later in middle school. But obviously there are still concussions and slips and falls on the ice. But that's when contact sports began. For me was in that fourth, fifth grade time frame.
Speaker 1:Hey, can we have you shift a little bit to your right because your face is being cut in half. There you go, all right. There you go, man, cool, all right, wow, all right. So you got, you got going, young man, what do tell me about Tony Dungy? Man, I, I admire that man so much and I'm a rabid. I was a rabid Patriots guy growing up. Man, I'm from Boston, yada, yada and yada yada. But every time I talk to him, or we have players that have talked to him, or I talk to NFL people, I mean he's just such an amazing human being, man. So what was it like?
Speaker 2:you know, having him as a coach, yeah, I mean, you know, his book Quiet Strength really says it all. I mean he is such a man of integrity and character, sincerity, authenticity. You know he was the first to win a Super Bowl, built on what's called servant leadership, the idea that if you build better men, you get better football players. And he's the one that actually set me on what my primary expertise is now, which is as a chief culture officer. So I spend most of my time helping companies build world-class championship culture in their businesses. And it all came out of the Dungy philosophy. In fact, he wrote the preface in my new business book, the Champion's Creed, which is how do you transform your culture through the foundation of belief. And it all comes out of the leadership style that you watched on television.
Speaker 2:When you saw this guy, no matter what the situation, he was just calm, he was collected, right, which he had the ability to make sure that you didn't get too high, but also pull you out of the valleys. And he genuinely cared about the transformation of his players, about the transformation of his players. I'll never forget our first team meeting. He came in and he said look, guys, my job is to win. But, more importantly, my job is to build a family and the acronym for family forget about me. I love you. And he said if you're sitting in this room and your entire identity is wrapped up in this sport, you've totally missed the purpose of your life. And that was like one of those moments where you're like wait a second. I have never heard that in football.
Speaker 1:Say that again.
Speaker 2:This is just a game. This is not the purpose of your life. So that was pretty and that's ultimately what you know. I I always my degree was public speaking, so I knew I knew that's what I wanted to do. I just didn't know what my story was and he really gave me. He really gave me that story about how to build um, how to build championships, scalable culture and business and so um. I owe tony dungy so much and his preface is so special in the book man, it's really cool.
Speaker 1:I'm going to have to get a copy of that. I mean I just you know you can, you can watch people on TV Right and I, I study people and I was like man, that guy is always like, like you said, cool, I mean, and of course, as a Patriots guy, those are the games everybody looked forward to. Man Was Eli the quarterback, I mean Peyton the quarterback, when you were there.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, the Peyton Brady battles were always so much fun. I was a part of the first Eli versus Peyton battle too, which was really cool. We went out to New York and it was brother versus brother the first time, so that was really cool, we went out to.
Speaker 1:New York and it was brother versus brother the first time. So that was pretty cool, yeah, very competitive family man. But now, what a, what a treasure to be able to be. You know, I look at leadership as a military guy and you know we're, we don't, we build families cause, we, we, we fight right. We, we, our, our A teams are very tight, but our leadership is, you know, they're focused on the fight, not the people. Sometimes and other leaders are focused on the folks, but what a, what a an amazing, what a blessing to have somebody that impact you, like that, you know yeah, and you learn a lot of cool things through, you know, through that style, like you know he, through that style, like you know he, he always behaved.
Speaker 2:He always behaved with grace, like he. He was a, he's a, he's a kind man, right, but I always, you know, I I ended up kind of defining it as bold grace, because he had this ability to hold you accountable and to challenge you and to make you aware of what the consequences were going to be if you didn't. But he had the ability to do it with grace, like he had the ability to make you walk away feeling like, okay, I think he just told me that if I don't do this the right way, I'm not going to play, but why do I feel better about myself?
Speaker 1:Did he have like a look that he could look at you and just kind of make you shrivel up inside like you just let dad down or something?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, it's speaking with kindness and transparency and clarity. So the ability to say, look, I believe in you but at the same time you're not reaching the expectations that I have for you. So I believe in you but at the same time, you're not reaching the expectations that I have for you. So I believe in you and I know we can fix this and I believe you will fix this. But if you don't fix it, here's the things that are going to have to happen. And so in one moment he's saying I believe in you, I trust you, I know you've got what it takes. So now he's affirming, he's lifting you up and at the same time, with kindness, he's just telling you what you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:So it's not like you. And that's where I think you know, kind of on the underbelly of professional sports, and I can only imagine you know what it's like in the armed forces. But you know there's it's. It's tough to know what type of style fits best for what type of personality. Do you know what I mean? And, uh, I can only imagine what that's like, has been like for you.
Speaker 1:It's I mean, I think it's in both, whether it's you know you, probably you know whether it's public safety, whether it's you know, it's in both, whether it's you know, whether it's public safety, whether it's you know it's corporations, leaders, you know, their leadership style is usually based on what they've experienced, right, and then as they grow and they mature and they learn I mean for me, you know, I noticed that people start changing my leadership style. Now, as a CEO I've been a CEO for 20 something years is a lot different than it was when I just got out of the army and you know, and all I knew is to yell at people and but I, you know, I let them, you know it was different, different leadership style and so, but to your point, I do believe, as I grow older, that more grace and kindness is required of leadership, which is why we see this disparity between older folks, different generations, generations that are raised with love, generations that are raised with a father's you know a strap and a, you know a boot and a butt. You know you're trying to put a lot together here, especially with these younger generations that are just different. Right, they're not many, they're just different people and they've been raised differently, so but that's yeah. That's great to know how long.
Speaker 1:Like you know, obviously, you had to retire due to concussions, and you're the second football player that I've talked to. I don't know if you know Jordan Reed, another tight end played with the Redskins for a while. He had to retire for the same issue. When did you know? How many concussions do you think you had in your in your football career?
Speaker 2:That's you know I I always chose not to be one of the guys to jump on the numbers bandwagon because I just, you know, when I became a national spokesperson for the american academy of neurology and really spent, you know, 10 years around some of the greatest neurological minds in the world, I I just learned so much about the importance of medical evidence and wanting to make sure that I you not getting into a world of exaggeration, but making sure that I'm using my story to emotionally connect people to the importance of their brains and then providing education around medical evidence. So what I would say to that question, but how I would answer that is, I had five diagnosed concussion concussions from the end of my college career to the end of my, the end of my professional career and the amount of times that I can try and go back and remember seeing stars or vision going blurry. And I mean it's you. You know I can't. You know it happened a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the numbers aren't important. I think what it comes down to. The real issue is neither are concussions and you know, a brain can heal from a concussion I've had as a semi-pro rugby player. I have woken up in the middle of pitches more times than I, you know, than I remember but it's about the aggregate number of those small hits that we take as ball players, you know. Yeah, and so when you started in fourth grade, and how long did you play in the NFL?
Speaker 2:I was in the league for seven, played for five, five you know seven plus, you know, so you're talking.
Speaker 1:You know 15, 17 years of continuous, you know exposure, yeah, and that's, and that's what we know, and that's what you know from the neurology side and that we know.
Speaker 1:Now that you know that that's the problem and unless we start reducing the total aggregate amount of exposure, we're going to end up with impacted athletes that you know are, are, you know are, just you know they're. You know we're destroying futures by not, you know, understanding the risks that we take. And there is absolutely all kinds of ways we can make, you know, football a safer sport, you know, and still worth the risks, still worth the time, worth the glory. I mean I, you know the mean, you know the Sundays I spent watching you cats out there as gladiators. You guys gave me my Doritos, my Miller Lite, my family around the TV. I mean we owe so much to what the NFL brings to us but at the same time, we do have to understand that there is a toll that takes place, especially, you know, on the large amount of ballplayers that never make it to the NFL or never make it that far in the NFL or whatever.
Speaker 2:Um, when, um, and so what I mean you know that just made you decide to retire, because you I mean you were, you were right in the middle of a hell of a good career too um, my, my fourth documented concussion resulted in a diagnosis of an amnesia, and so that was that was new and that was a little uh, it was a little scary because you know when a whole day is just completely removed from your memory and you can watch the play happen and the concussion happen, and you get up and you're running off the field and you're high-fiving everybody and all of your cognitive functioning is working, but it's as if it didn't exist. It's just gone Like there's. No, it's just. Amnesia is just a strange feeling because there's no recollection. It's not like oh, I think I remember. No, it's just, it's like you're watching yourself, even though it feels like inside that never actually happened.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. So you got hit, you could watch yourself on TV. The next happened, you know what I mean. So you got hit, you could watch yourself on TV like the next day. You know film right and you don't recall any of that.
Speaker 2:No, that was what happened.
Speaker 2:I got kicked in the back of the head by a pursuing defender as he was jumping over me and it just that location of the brain, yeah, brainstem, and so that was strange. And then my last concussion in Cincinnati happened right during training camp when we just had our first daughter, and I think the consequences had been compounding. And after that fourth diagnosis of amnesia just started noticing some differences in the, in cognitive ability and and so, um, I was always someone that had defined other passions in my life that I wanted to be able to pursue, and I think that's where the conversation started was, you know, okay, I'm starting to notice changes. Is it worth it to continue, having just started our family and knowing what I want to do, moving forward, and that kind of began the process over the course of that next year of being on IR and talking with family and all of the stuff that was happening in the NFL around con. It's definitely not the best thing for me, you know, physically and neurologically, familially. So we decided to make the call.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a tough one, man, I mean, especially when you're you know, I wasn't diagnosed with really any brain damage until I was, I think, 60, just when everything just kind of hit me so to feel those, and I really wasn't suffering any mental lapses, but then rage, hostility, all kinds of crazy stuff, man, started happening in my mid-50s. I'm like what's going on? And it wasn't for you know, years that I, you know, tried to even start tying that going backwards. And here you are being impacted as a young man on the sport, on the field, daily. So, yeah, I can imagine, you know, giving it up.
Speaker 1:You know, you said something really that's really interesting because in the military too, just like in the NFL, I talk to ballplayers and they're ballplayers for life, right, I mean, that's them, that's their identity, that's who they are. I talked to military guys. I was just on a boat with 800 other Green Berets, which will probably never happen again, but yeah, it was pretty crazy and I noticed that there were men that had really moved on, right, they've started companies, they were, you know, whatever the thing was, they got it. But then there was guys that were still Green Berets, and so how do you deal with that? Because in the NFL you have to move on.
Speaker 1:We all know, everybody knows your Army career is going to end, your NFL career is going to end and you have to move on. And you're not going to move on as an NFL player. How do you? You know what's your? I mean, I think you said that are you helping players right now in that transition, helping them get over there and get that moving? Or I know personally, you decided to make a change and drive on. But you said something a little bit earlier about, you know, transitioning and getting on with the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:Yeah that you know that well, a couple things you know. So I'm a part of the NFL Players Association Committee for Player Health and Safety. So that's kind of what I do on the side to help, you know, with player health and safety and wellness. And obviously every year it's a big discussion about helping players transition out, because there's a lot of financial problems, there's a lot of job search, there's a lot of it.
Speaker 2:The transition out is not as easy as you think and I have to believe that's kind of the same for for your world too.
Speaker 2:Like it's just because you're, you know your whole identity, like for guys, like for guys like me, that that and I didn't even have a long career, I mean you know longer than the average, but but you know, all of a sudden, from fourth grade until I'm 30 years old, that's been, that's been my whole identity, right.
Speaker 2:And so the trend, the transition is tough when you've placed your purpose as a human being into a sport. And so how do you help current players really understand that their value and significance as a human is so much greater than just their position on the field and then prepare them and help them discover what those passions are outside of the game that they can use the NFL to help them explore and identify and grow and develop those passions so that when they do transition they've got you know the purpose. You know that's what I'd like to see happen more often than not, right, and that's been what I've experienced. Not that it's been easy. You know it's been a roller coaster ride of until you can really find your lane, but that's the ultimate goal, because you know you still have a significant amount of players that are bankrupt within two or three years after, uh, after they retire, and you know a lot of that has to do with just not having you know the support to really find that the deep personal meaning behind the value and significance of their life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, I see it, man, I was visiting a friend of mine and he was an NFL player long career and he was doing some coaching. And here I am on my go out to watch his team. It's a high school team and he's got four NFL players as coaches on this team. Right, all of them, you know, just trying to find their way right, still playing with the sports. They love the kids, all of them admittedly suffering from some kind of, you know, challenges mentally, from the impact of the sport. I mean, they played for years. Now they're, you know, and I'm talking to them because that's what our foundation does Like, look here, here's what we can do to start getting this right, because this can't be, you know, your mental health struggles cannot be treated with just pharmaceutical drugs that don't work right. It's all about treating the brain, and so, you know, but we run into it a lot. College athletes, you know, military guys that hold nine yards.
Speaker 1:What is the NFLPA? And are they on this issue of repetitive head impacts, are they? Do the players get any, you know, evaluations on their way out for you know kind of disability or anything like that to help them, you know, with the, with some of the challenges they might be facing as a result of all this exposure to football. I mean, you mentioned having to sign a waiver for your brain and these are, you know these are tough clauses to put in place. I mean NFL's a business. I mean I'm not here to poke holes at the NFL at all. You know, I was just kind of hoping that their position on. You know, player, you know how the players are leaving the league right now with some of these issues that we now know are from just the continuous exposure. You know that there's a lot of things that can be done nowadays that aren't, you know, aren't just drugs right? You know, to numb them and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, you know, my situation was, you know, 2009-10. So we've come a long way since then and even that waiver situation, I feel like, was in between trying to figure out how are they going to? You know, how do they move forward with, you know, players with significant concussion history. So I don't even know if that part exists today. I do know that they've done, and I'm sure you already know this but they've created, you know, the return to play protocols has become actually a pretty well-established and practiced system and you have two non-biased neurospecialists that can stop the play at any time a player is suspected of a concussion. So their whole job is to watch the game. They're not watching for enjoyment for enjoyment. They're literally watching every player on every play to see if anybody's showing signs of any type of concussion or traumatic brain injury, and they can stop the game and there's nothing that anybody can do about it.
Speaker 2:I mean, if you think about it, just getting the NFL to agree to that was a massive win, right? Not that it makes sense and it never will be, because concussions are an appendage of football. I mean, you can't have rugby and you can't have football. You just can't have any contact sport without concussion, it's just going to be there. So it's how do you do the best job you can to protect the players that are on the field, to educate the players so that they can make the best decision for themselves, and then and then to take care of the players after that, after they retire.
Speaker 2:So I think that they've done a pretty, you know. I think that they've the concussion litigation. You know that settlement has helped, has helped players. I still think that there's that there's more that we could do on the insurance side, but the relationship with the Cleveland Clinic is very, very strong, and so every player has access to their executive brain and body physicals Wow, and those are consistent for every player every four to five years and it's all covered. And so, yes, you can get screened as soon as you're out of the league and they can follow you over the course of the rest of your life, you know and that.
Speaker 1:So there's some really good things that are happening there and I think that no, no, and and the nfl, I mean they've actually with the, you know, I mean the. The fact that the NFL really doesn't have contact during the season in practice is, you know, if we could. You know, now that we know that what's impacting the people is the years of all this. You know hits and I, I watched my son, you know my son's high school kids playing on both sides of the ball and hitting five days a week and then game day. And you know, and in high schools they just hit, they hit all the time. In middle school they hit, they hit all the time because these coaches, these dads it's what they know right, they want to, I don't know, toughen their kids up or whatever. Their issue is right.
Speaker 1:And you know, we just converted the first police activity league from tackle to flag until 14 because of my son's story and just the research. Like, look, you know, it's all about how many of these hits, not the concussions, it's how many of these. And if we took all this out, these kids can go all the way through the NFL. If we took all that out and then high school just got down, maybe one day you know, I was just adding NFL players Like look man, you ain't going to teach kids to tackle.
Speaker 1:If they don't want to tackle, they ain't tackling man, it's just the way. You can tackle them all, you can hit them all, you can make them hit all day. But if we got that contact out of before 14 and then reduced it in high school because the NFL is leading the way, and if college and high school would act like the NFL man, you'd have NFL players out there just making all this blame, but they would have this right. It wouldn't be the situation we kind of are dealing with now and it would be what do you think? How could we think the NFL would work on that? You know, just kind of push that, those same ideas downstream and just kind of, you know, see healthier players. I mean, I don't know if that's just a wish.
Speaker 2:I think you know I think you said it best understanding that the NFL is a business and it's a $24-plus billion business. Amen, I think that education is always going to influence decision. What comes out of neurology? You know the research, the white paper, evidence around subconcussive hits and what the long-term effects of subconcussive hits, and I know that we have some of that, but that will continue to get stronger and the more we have that, that will become an influence.
Speaker 2:And you know, I think it's one of the reasons why I feel like advocacy is so important, because I think the parents have a stronger voice than they realize and there's 24 million children in youth sports. So you think about, but then think about how many parents are living through their kids and they don't, my Lord, they're worse. If you can organize parents, that that's just a tough, that's a tough thing to do. So I really do think, like the medical community, the neurologist, and I think that community can have the greatest influence through research and and evidence that you can't deny. Right, you've got the american academy of neurology, you know. Maybe, you know, hopefully, they could come out someday and say, hey, these subconcussive hits have to stop. Well, it's hard to you know it's hard to say you don't know what you're talking about. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, well, I mean, every time I meet a neurologist and go, do your kids play contacts, parts of that the answer is like hell no, hell, no. And I'm like why? And they're like I'm a neurologist dude and I'm like, well, why don't parents are? Why aren't we aware of that? Right, cause I made a lot of mistakes with my boy. He played hockey, he played rugby, he played wrestling, he played football, you know, ended up running out for cliff, you know. And um, we fund all. He's up at BET, he's at BU with the CTE and the CTE Brain Bank, with all the other greats and they, you know, and we funded all the research and it's, you know, this is, you know, preventable and but I do think that you know, to your point, the research is coming. It's now RHI subcussive trauma.
Speaker 1:When I wrote the book for parents in 2020, there was, I found like two, two, three papers on it. Now everything was on concussions and tbi. Now it's all on subcussive, it's all on rhi, and what we have to do is work with the research community, get that out and that's their problem. They they like to. That's a whole nother rabbit hole we could go down, but but yeah, I do think that the nfl has an amazing opportunity right now to understand that this is a. This is the reason that we have problems with NFL players, nhl players, rugby players, wrestlers, everybody that hits their head and if we, as different leagues, can set the example, then everybody can follow and we can make sports safer.
Speaker 1:But you know, yeah, it's uh. So look, let's transition to you. You ended up writing a book and I kind of. I really am interested in this because and I think, if I read this right, you wrote a book for your kids when you felt like your mind was slipping away. And tell us about that man, because I Well, I mean, it was an emotional journey.
Speaker 2:I was pursued by a literary agent who had read my story and just said have you song was about my greatest fears, right? Because, remember, this was the dawn of CTE. You know, the concussion movie had just come out, it seemed like there was no answer. All you you either, you know, most likely have chronic traumatic encephalopathy, and so, you know, I'm experiencing some cognitive changes and I'm just, you know, learning as much as I can and realizing, my goodness, like, maybe I, maybe I have the CTE and, and you know, I, you know, in my forties, fifties and sixties, I'm going to start, you know, losing the people that I love the most, you know, cause that's just that, that that's that's where we were with concussion.
Speaker 2:If you remember, when the Will Smith movie came out, it was kind of just like, oh my gosh, hopeless. Yeah, all the media, everything was like hopelessness and there's, oh my, this is just. And so I ended up writing that song, just as kind of like a love letter, and the NFL Players Association asked me to testify at a congressional hearing shortly after that, and I told the story about writing this song and that I had turned it into a music video, which I did, but I never released it because I just felt like God was saying it's not the time. So then I go do the congressional hearing and I tell the story and when I walk out the doors like it was crazy, like every media outlet was like we got to see the. We got to, we need to know what the story is and we got to see the music videos. So I released a music video and it went viral and it's all focused on research. There's a storyline to it about how research led to, first in trial Medicaid medicine that my character took in order to be healed from CTE, but anyway, it's what led to the book.
Speaker 2:Because the book ended up, we ended up using a line from the from the, from the beginning of that song to be the title. I'm in here counting the days while my mind is slipping away. I'll hold on as long as I can to you, and so it. Um, the book title is. Probably the one thing I wish I could have changed.
Speaker 2:Honestly about about the book was they wanted to go with something that ominous, that had this kind of like man.
Speaker 2:We just want to hit people in the gut and the reality was nobody wanted to read that book Because, right, not that they didn't want to read the book, but they didn't want to read that title. Because now you're challenging every sports fan in the country, like you know, they don't want to stop loving their sports, and I think the title just was a little misleading because it made it seem like something that it was not and the reality was is. The book is about perseverance, endurance and overcoming obstacles, about standing strong in the face of adversity and this wonderful story that I've been on for, you know, for having to leave the sport I love because of concussion, but then finding myself through the process and discovering, you know, these amazing ways to strengthen my cognitive abilities and the miraculous journey of completely recovering from all of those, you know, concussions, to being stronger cognitively today than I have ever been, you know, and that's really what the whole book is about. But everybody would just see the final.
Speaker 2:I hate not football the whole book is about, but everybody would just see the. I know football, my mind slips away and people are like I don't want to read about my somebody's mind slipping away, like that's depressing. But the book is not depressing. It's actually like it's um, it's a very good story, co-written by a new york times best-selling co-writer, mark tabb. So it's actually a really, really good book. But that's really where it all came from and I'm so glad that I did it. My girls have all read it. I've got four daughters, so they've all read it and it's been emotional for them and so, yeah, it is an interesting journey.
Speaker 1:That's amazing, man. I remember when I was sitting on the berm getting ready to go into Iraq it was my fourth different time going into a combat zone my wife was pregnant and I didn't know if I was going to see my wife, my wife, my son Again. I knew I was going to have a boy. I never had, you know, I had two beautiful daughters but I was like I never had a boy. So I ended up writing him a letter and then, for just some reason, I kept writing him letters and even though he's not here, I am now turning all those letters into a book because, you know, I just kept writing them and I tell dad I was like you can't remember every day of a kid's life. Man, write it down. Every six months, write your kid a letter Like, oh, it's a great idea.
Speaker 1:But when I read that about you, I'm like here's a man kind of same place, right, I don't know if I'm going to remember what a I don't know. I don't want to say horrible, but that is, it's just. You know, it's. You know, I can't even imagine, you know, to be there. You know, looking at that future. Now, what have you done to put yourself back on path. What have been the protocols you've been using, experimenting with, I mean, to completely recover, and you say, even surpass your cognitive abilities when you were actually playing. So what have you been doing to heal yourself, man?
Speaker 2:The thing that I really focused on was cognitive brain training, and I got involved in a company called called learning rx, which is a franchise um, that's, that's now international.
Speaker 2:They are out of I think it's cool springs, colorado, and um, their whole platform is to take neuropsychological exercises and and pre and post neuropsychological examinations to give you a baseline, help you understand where your cognitive weaknesses are, build a customized training program that comes out of neuropsychology and then put you in front of a brain trainer, someone that knows how to apply the exercises and hold you accountable and challenge you, and then you complete the plan and then fulfill your post-neuropsych evaluation so that you can see where have I come from across the two to three months.
Speaker 2:So I did an intensive program over 100 hours, monday through Thursday hour and a half a session, sat across the table from a brain trainer and just got my butt kicked. It was, it was. I'm telling you, like you wouldn't even believe it, like the first week I'm sweating in there because I'm just like, I'm surrounded by all these like younger kids who are just so good, good at it. Every, every table has a metronome that's going at their own beat, because almost every exercise you have to do to a tempo and a rhythm and they put you in an open cubicle system. You know, imagine like hearing everybody else's metronomes and everybody else's metronomes.
Speaker 1:No, I know, I know that would drive me crazy.
Speaker 2:And that's by design, right. But when I retired, my biggest complaint was my short long-term memory. And when I started the brain training program, I started the brain training program. My pre-neuropsych evaluation showed that my short and long-term memory what I can remember after five minutes and what I can remember after 60 minutes was in the 12th and 17th percentile. So this is actually a very credible neuropsych evaluation telling me that what I've been complaining about, what I've been trying to tell the world like hey, I know you can't see this injury on me, but this is what I'm experiencing, I'm not crazy. Like I just, you know, I'm struggling to remember. My executive functioning is really challenging. That's why I have post-it notes everywhere now and I've even had some long-term gaps where I'm just, you know, I can't remember.
Speaker 2:And this validated that, like I wasn't crazy, right. So 12th and 17th percentile, you know, out of 100, the average being like 70, 68 to 70. So I was way, I was, I was, I was far below. So after a hundred hours, the 12th and 17th percentile went up to the 70th and 98th percentile. And here's the other thing I was having behavioral issues too. I was having behavioral issues too, but what I used to be believing was that my behavioral challenges were because I have CTE and there's nothing I can do about it because it's the degeneration of the cellular activity. But when I went through this process it made me realize that, oh my gosh, through this process it made me realize that, oh my gosh, like my, my patient's issues, my temper issues, you know, these, these behavioral changes that were happening were because I was living in this like weekend cognitive, you know, place that could be fixed.
Speaker 2:And so when I, when I went to my friends at the American Academy of Neurology and said, hey, should I do this program, to my surprise they said, of course. And I'm like, really. And they're like, yeah, ben, you know, cognitive rehabilitation has decades of evidence in white paper. Like all this company is doing is putting you through exercises designed to strengthen your neural pathways and your different cognition platforms. And as much as you put into it, you should get out of it.
Speaker 2:And I was like, if that's true, why isn't their brain training in every college and professional? I mean they should have this franchise in every single sport, because it increases logic and reasoning, auditory and visual processing, speeds, memory. So you know, imagine like if I would have had this in the Peyton Manning offense, having to remember all of the different code words of I bet. Sorry, but the pharmaceutical side of any of this stuff. When I found LearningRx and I did the brain training program, it was so successful and my wife would tell you she got her husband back. That's just kind of where I stayed. Continue to strengthen my cognitive abilities, which creates new synapses, which means there's more that any type of disease in the future has to destroy in order to take the person away right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, man. I mean everything you're saying makes sense. I mean it's the prefrontal cortex right here. It takes all those blows and you figure it's a tight end. I used to watch you guys run across the field as a rugby player and I'm like man, the smacks that you guys take on those crossing routes are brutal, bro, and I'm like, oh my God, and then it's everything. You're right. I mean you start dealing with. You know damage here.
Speaker 1:Everything we know from executive functioning comes from you know, this part of the brain, which is the last part of the brain to develop, which a lot of people don't know. Not until high school does this thing even start developing. And if you've been hitting this since you were six or you were in fourth grade, you've already got the most critical part of your brain that you need as an adult has already been dinged. It's like all right, so can we push this back a little bit and still have our football? But, to your point, a lot of what you're doing is absolutely amazing. So you didn't do any of the TMS, anything else. This was your path back and it sounded like it worked, bro, that is awesome.
Speaker 2:No, it was great. It was great and yeah, I recommend it to. I mean it's.
Speaker 1:Why doesn't the NFL pay for this, man? I mean it should be like part of your. I mean it can't be that expensive, right? And if you took all these out, because I think to your point, ben, what you're saying is that there is hope. I mean we all. I got CTE, right. I mean I still play rugby at 63, right, and you know. And then all the explosions been shot in the face, bullet, fragmentation. I mean I've had my shit, right, but pardon my French. But you know, unless we treat the brain, which takes effort, whether you learn in a music instrument, you know, you learn in a language which I think helped you a lot, right, you're a musician, right? I mean those are. That's amazing the way it can, you know, form new neural pathways, reinforce them and get that brain back. Yeah, but it sounds like, man, this should be something that you know. Hey, on the way out. Well, we know your brain's dinged. Hey, go see Ben and go do 100 hours of training, gosh.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. But you know I'm super blessed. You know I don't know what the future is going to hold, but you know, any chance I get to continue trying to tell that story and emotionally connect people to the importance of their, their mind and their memories, you know I try to do that. You know I did a. I did a TEDx talk on this. What has relevance if you can't remember it and it was my kind of TED talk around concussions.
Speaker 1:No, that's amazing man. So tell me, what was it like when you won that Super Bowl to be up there with that trophy man? Was that like? Did you think like there's no other high or anything like that man? It must have been amazing. Yeah, it truly was amazing.
Speaker 2:Like I said earlier, I grew up in a town of 13,000 to 15,000 people on the Mississippi River and to play in front of I think there was about 101 million people that watched that game, million people that watch that game. You know, you catch passes from a hall of fame quarterback and be coached by a hall of fame coach. I mean it just, it's so, it's just you got to pinch yourself. It's just a such a, yeah, such a special period of time.
Speaker 1:You know, and um, and I'm so blessed, yep, and these are the blessings that will drive us on the rest of our life. So, as we close up and tell us, tell our audience, so how do they find you? What do you have going on? What's Ben got going on right now? You're still with Learning Rx. I see shower sock on your shirt. What you got going on, man? How do our what's Ben doing right now? Man, talk about Ben.
Speaker 2:Well, so thank you for that. I mean, you know, this journey into life and business has been so exciting and I found my passion, which is to help and inspire people towards developing championship culture, and so that's been an amazing journey, speaking all over the country and becoming a chief culture officer. Just launched my new website, benutexspeakscom, and just came out with my brand new book, the Champion's Creed Transform your Culture Through the Power of Belief, which made it to number two on Amazon for a few days, behind your Bill Belichick.
Speaker 1:Does everybody want to read about the drama? Drama wins in today's society.
Speaker 2:Made it. You know it did really well. The first week we sold over 6,000, 7,000 books, which was a big deal for you know, kind of my first business book, so that was great, but yeah, really launching this new speaking career to really kind of expand that territory. So really excited about that. And then, believe it or not, I patented the world's first ever disposable antibacterial and fungal shower sock.
Speaker 1:Okay, smart guy. What's that all about?
Speaker 2:Well, everybody wears flip-flops Not everybody but you're either someone who doesn't wear flip-flops in the shower or you wear flip-flops to protect your feet from bacteria and fungus. I had a bad infection when I was playing for cincinnati and I um had to try and figure out, um how to make this better, because I was wearing flip-flops when I got that infection. So so, basically, I developed a. I developed like an ankle uh sock that you can wash your foot in, that it smells amazing and it has technology that repels all bacteria and fungus. So you can wear it three to five times. It only costs three dollars. You just put it on shower, you're protected, take it off, dry it out, then eventually just recycle it.
Speaker 1:No, kidding dude. Good for you, man that's my.
Speaker 2:this is like my, the thing that I'm I'm really hopeful for because it's such a bit. I mean, think about it. A podiatrist says anywhere a foot touches tile, you should have coverage. So think about this, think about the us military, think about the subs. Think about the US military. Think about the subs, think about the carriers, think about all the bases. Think about hotels, fitness clubs, spas, anywhere a foot touches tire and it's never been made. I developed the first ever shower sock. You should check showersockcom. It's up for all.
Speaker 1:That's awesome man. You know I's not wrong. That's awesome man, you know, I'll tell you. I spent 11 years in South America and I have humped some nasty swamps down there, and my foot, I mean we're talking cracks and bleeding and stinkiness. Oh, I feel it, man. Wow, good for you, bo.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's it. That's kind of where I'm at now. I'm full-on culture, doing some executive stuff, speaking all over the country and then really, you know, launching this new company. So we're really excited.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, maybe we'll come down and have you speak at our summit. Man, we have the only summit of repetitive brain trauma in the world here in Tampa every year, so we'll get to talk to you. Well, ben, I can't thank you enough for sharing your story on the show. Sir, thank you, it's been amazing. The Lord has absolutely looked over you on your path and your perseverance. Coming back to your parents and to your family, I mean to be a dad again when all seemed so bleak, and to let other NFL and college and other athletes know that there is hope. Let other NFL and college and and other athletes know that there is hope. And we talked to you know, we talked to some pro bowlers that you know that just have lost hope, that I'm going to die with this, like no, you can get better. You could. Are you going to be 100% who you were? No, but you also had a lot of fun playing football.
Speaker 1:You're going to pay a price for that but better and I think your message of hope and optimism is one that the NFL needs. The other players need to hear. So good on you, man, Thank you. We really thank you for the time on the show and we'll look forward to having you on again. Man, All good, I wish you the best, not only as a parent, but in your business endeavors, Let me know, and I'm going to go read your book as a CEO. But in your business endeavors, let me know, and I'm going to go read your book as a CEO. I always can use some good advice. All right, no problems, Folks, another wonderful show. Man Really appreciate Ben coming on sharing his stories. Love those tight ends. I don't love the hits but I can't watch them anymore. But it's all good. Remember, get your book. It's on the website, it's for free. Get it on there.
Speaker 1:Don't forget our summit in Tampa on repetitive brain trauma. It's our second one. The United States Special Operations Commander is going to open for us. We have legislators, We've got amazing speakers, doctors, panelists. We're going to have a professional sports panel, a military panel, a treatment panel, diagnosis so we can learn from players like Ben on how to you know to get your way back from the injuries that we all suffer when we play sports or being in the military. Like us, subscribe to us and don't forget. We have the app on Google Head, Smart Apps on Google and the Apple Store probably the most robust concussion app for parents out there. Let's do what we can to help you become informed and take care of those melons, and we'll catch you next time on Broken Brains, sponsored by the Mack Parkman Foundation. God bless you all. Talk to you later.